You ARE good enough!

At times when work is slow I tend to browse the latest stories on ldsliving.com and one stood out to me particularly today. I read an article titled "My new husband: I was never attracted to you". It goes on to talk of how her husband was not physically attracted to her which led to her worrying about what she wore, how she looked in the mornings etc & what all she did that would make him turn away from her. This all caused deep pain & insecurity. I love how she worded this.. "I finally realized that I was looking in the mirror in the bedroom & the mirror of my husbands eyes instead of the mirror inside my heart." She continues to say "deep down inside me, a voice reassured me that I was actually beautiful enough. Strength I had forgotten welled up in me..."

This article touched a little sore spot of mine. I married a man who I thought loved be & who I believed thought I was beautiful. Yet, throughout my whole marriage my self confidence was taken away: day by day, comment by comment. My ex-husband continually reminded me of how I was not the perfect "trophy wife". During the last couple of bards months we had I was baffled to learn more of what I was that was not good enough. 

I remember that day when I personally felt that reassurance from my Heavenly Father. I got to a dark place where physically I was perhaps 100 pounds on a good day, spending 4 hrs at a gym and had the mind set where I had to prove my ex wrong. I could look the way he wanted me too. I was spent. I sat in the bathroom bawling as I couldn't stand without feeling dizzy and having my world go black. I prayed hard and asked to feel peace, to feel him with me. I sat and waited and felt as if someone had wrapped a blanket around me and I felt an overwhelming feeling of love. I knew I couldn't do that anymore! I knew I was worth more. I was a daughter of our Heavenly Father and I was made in the image of a perfect being. I would always be good enough!

I'm a lot more healthier now, I am a normal woman and may always nit pick at what I don't like about me but I refuse to give anyone that power ever again. Someone will love me for who I am. At 100, 116 or 125 pounds. I am perfect the way I am and I love me. 

I am a beautiful daughter of our Heavenly Father