blessings & temples

 

 I absolutely love going to the temple! Sometimes its difficult because something always comes up on the night you plan going but once your there its amazing! I feel so safe & its a comfort to me. I've been wanting to go back since I went to a friends wedding but I kept putting it off until today. I found a friend and went! I was also so excited to see the new movie! (I loved it!) Leaving the temple tonight I felt renewed and humbled. Being reminded of the promises that I'm given is humbling. I feel guilty for my feelings of questioning why I wasn't being given my blessing.. Let me explain. It's been hard to go through this when all your life growing up you hear about the fact if you do what you are told, pay your tithing, say your prayers, read your scriptures etc. that the Lord will bless you and you will be able to overcome anything and everything will be ok. Then BAM! Your life is out of control, your breaking a temple marriage, and all that is going through my head is how come I wasn't good enough for this marriage? Why wasn't I good enough for the blessing of an eternity? Thoughts such as that. That's when it hit me tonight. I am good enough, obviously the Lord isn't going to give me anything I cant handle, I know there is something I need to learn from this. I'm almost 20 and I can go to the temple anytime I want-that's a blessing! I'm blessed to be temple worthy. I am blessed so much in my life. What gives me the right to be angry with the Lord over what blessings I am given? I am so disappointed in myself over all of these things that I have been brewing over for a while now. Sitting in the session tonight I was overwhelmed with the spirit. One day I will be blessed with an amazing man who will take me to the temple & wants to go. I will be blessed with my own family one day.

 I cant begin to describe how thankful & how full my heart is.

 I love this gospel so much and I am so thankful that I have the privilege to know what I know & to be able to attend the temple. I'm thankful for the sacrament & to be able to renew my covenant's every Sunday. I'm thankful for righteous parents who have taught me & support me. I am so thankful for my Savior Jesus Christ who died for me. He knows how I feel. He knows what I'm going through. I'm thankful for a living prophet who continues to guide us. I do have a testimony of this gospel and that it IS true. And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.