Out with the old & in with the new!

Feeling pretty clever right now.. okay maybe not so clever but I've been writing some new goals down today and reflecting on old ones and trying to break away from "the list" hence.. out with the old & in with the new!

Every time I've tried to make some new goals for myself I would quickly become discouraged & tell myself I couldn't achieve them or I would never overcome them. I was constantly turning back to "the list" that Mr. X had made over time. I realized I was judging myself and measuring my self worth against this list. This list that is stupid & just plain dumb! Maybe one or two people know about a couple but who truly knows everything? Since no one knows of this blog I want to share. Just a few of this list that I was judging myself on... 

 

I couldn't fold his laundry the right way

I couldn't sweep the corners good enough

I couldn't wipe down the tables correctly

I looked good. I just couldn't lose my "love handles"

He didn't like any of my clothes

He hated that I would never wear a belt (Hate belts)

I would go barefoot outside...makes my shoes dirtier faster he said.

He wanted an ''active lifestyle''.. hence starting to work my butt off at the gym.. (now I love to run..so thanks?)

I would pick if I had a zit (I refuse to let a big white zit stay on my face.. gross!)

I was too independent

 

He was afraid to have kids because I might not be motivated enough to lose the ''baby weight''

I never cooked (I was working during the day and then going straight to school at night.. I love to cook and I'm sorry Sundays was the only day I had free. P.S. I make a delicious roast!)

He was afraid once we had kids I would just let myself go and be one of those moms (kinda similar to a previous one)

I would never dress down for him (hello...dress down and feel judged the whole time? No thank you..)

I would always come home and be laughing and have stories to share about my day while he would always have a bad day and that would make him even more annoyed

Gave me crap for drinking soda

 

I'm too stubborn (true..true..)

 

That's just to name a few. I reread this and I can't help but giggle. I'm sorry I love Coca-Cola, I'm sorry I couldn't look good enough. Besides on one last sour note.. deciding to bring kids into this world is an ever life changing decision and is wonderful and should be full of happiness!! Not crying in the bathroom scared your pregnant and wondering how you'll be treated when you start to show. I now look back and thank Heavenly Father that we didn't have kids. There will be no more defining myself and my souls worth by this.

 

And in with the new...

 

Start & Finish the 30 day Book Of Mormon challenge

 

Laugh everyday. Sounds silly but I feel like I lost my chipmunk laugh of mine for a long time, and now that its back-I don't want to lose it again.

 

Remember my thank you prayers

 

I want to run a 5k

 

Temple night!! With a family member.. with a friend or alone. I need to go more!

 

Attempt to start sewing

 

Patience

 

Stop judging my body. I am a daughter of a king & am beautiful just the way I am :)

 

So it may not be a long huge new list but its what I feel :)

Now excuse me... but I have to go and watch the end of The Bachelorette! Season finale baby!